The Power of Friendship — Oberlin Shansi

By Zachary Mayer-Bickel ‘21, JFOU Fellow 2022-2024

It turns out having friends is important. This is not a shocking revelation to most people. It's the sort of saccharine sentiment found in books, television shows, and movies aimed at elementary schoolers. But it's such a prevalent message because it holds true. For me, friendship and connection to other people has been the prevailing theme that all the best parts of my fellowship.

Two months after I accepted the J.F Oberlin Fellowship, I touched down at Haneda airport in Tokyo. I received my Visa from the Japanese embassy in Denver only two days before my flight left. I wasn't even certain accepting the position was a good idea before I left. Needless to say that the whole process was challenging and stressful. But almost as soon as I arrived my fears were put to rest. Leina, one of my two senior co-fellows, greeted me and provided me with a lot of much needed information and support. I went from feeling overwhelmed, anxious, and incredibly jet lagged to only incredibly jet lagged. Jasmine and Leina were both supportive and kind co-fellows my first semester. They helped me navigate teaching English and working in Japan, two new experiences for me. Without them the fellowship would have been a much less positive experience.

Even with excellent co-fellows the J.F Oberlin Shansi experience can be isolating. Commuting to Tokyo is easy but time consuming. Machida is a nice place to live but it isn't exactly exciting as far as Japanese suburbs go. I found that making friends and finding fulfillment requires self motivation. In my first few months in Japan, outside of work I found that fulfillment in playing guitar. This was due in no small part to my Guitar teacher Ashida, with whom I started working within my first few months. I’ve been learning to play the electric guitar for three years. I practice two hours every day. No exceptions. So of course, even before coming to Japan, it was a big part of my life. But Ashida's lessons have taken the experience of learning the instrument to another level. In six months, I’ve learned more than I thought I would in six years. Within about a month he had me learning the solo to Crazy Train. I went into that lesson expecting to pick up a few riffs from the solo that I could use to improvise. But to my shock with his guidance and two months of hard work I had the whole solo down at full speed. In the world of technical rock guitar this is far from a herculean feat. But I didn’t think I would be able to play even half of it. I have more confidence in my own abilities to learn and improve than I did before coming to Japan thanks to Ashida.

My guitar lessons have had their challenges as well. Ashida’s English is about as good as my Japanese which is to say, not that great. It can be hard to understand exactly what he’s saying. But with the help of google translate, a little Japanese, a little English, and a lot of miming we make it work. On top of showing me how to shred, he’s turned me on to a lot of different music. I learn a technical metal solo one week and then a collection of tasty blues riffs the next. In turn I’ve enjoyed sharing some of my favorite music with him. Then he teaches me how to play it, which is even better. I'm lucky to have met Ashida. He's a great guitar teacher and a great friend, too.

Creating connections at the University has been one of the highlights of the fellowship. It's been a lovely experience getting to know a lot of my students over the last two semesters. Having some of my students come up to me after class to chat has been one of my favorite parts of the fellowship. In May, one of my classes threw me a surprise Birthday party complete with a cake. In hindsight, given the size of the cake, they imagined I would take it home. But I didn’t think about that at the time. Instead I raced across campus to my apartment and pillaged every utensil that even resembled a fork. I ran back to the classroom and everyone ended up getting a very thin slice of cake. Learning how to teach English has been a valuable and enjoyable experience by itself. But it's the interpersonal experiences with my students that I’ll never forget.

I also made friends with one of the other English teachers who works at J.F Oberlin. We eat lunch and play chess every Thursday after class. It's been very interesting and helpful having a veteran English teacher of twenty years that I can ask questions. I also often ask him questions about chess because he usually thrashes me. Forging these friendships at the university has made my job feel meaningful.

Yet, without contest the two people that have made my time in Japan so meaningful for me are my two junior co-fellows Leo and Risa. Their arrival in August marked a significant change in both my lifestyle and my enjoyment of the fellowship. Almost immediately we started going on adventures around and outside of Tokyo. We started going to see or even perform live music at least once a week, usually more. By myself, I didn’t find exploring Tokyo to be all that interesting. Commuting takes a long time and I’d already been to Tokyo on a few previous trips to Japan. But, having two other people to explore together with changed the game. Having someone to talk to on the often hour plus commute into or out of the city alone has made travel at least twice as fun.

But my favorite experiences in Japan have been when Risa, Leo, and I go on adventures together. Our first major outing was a trip to Chichibu, a town in the mountains west of Tokyo. Leo planned out a bunch of great activities to do while we were there. We went to a Sake brewery and bought some less than satisfactory Sake. We stayed at a nice ryokan. The highlight was climbing up to Mitsumine Jinja, a shrine at the top of Mount Mitsumine. Even being a Colorado native who has been on his share of mountainsides, the hike was tough. It was steep, long, and it was a hot day too. But we made it to the top in the end. It was peaceful too, there was almost no one else on the trail. As I was taking in the incredible view, I noticed a group of elderly people walking by. The more I looked, the more people I saw. Kids, parents, foreigners, you name it. There was even a restaurant. It was packed. It turns out you can take a bus up the whole mountain to the shrine and we took the long way up. If it was me at this point I would have felt a little bit dejected. An arduous journey that could have been avoided with five minutes of research. Hiking up the mountain with the co-fellows is an irreplaceable experience.

Leo and I have had our fair share of memorable moments as well. We were lucky enough to get to have Thanksgiving dinner with Risa’s parents Rieko and Paul in Tokyo. Our contribution to the meal was dessert. What is a thanksgiving meal without a pie or two? But finding somewhere to buy good pies in Tokyo that was also close to Rieko and Paul’s house was difficult. At the same time, we weren’t due for dinner until the evening so Leo planned an artful itinerary for our day. We got coffee at Roppongi hills, checked out their Christmas market and went to the Mori art museum. After enjoying but not understanding the exhibit, we went to the Meiji Jingu shrine and explored the surrounding area. From there it was only two stations to the pie shop. Tasty treats in hand and tired out, we arrived for thanksgiving dinner with Risa and her parents on time.

More than anything, both Leo and Risa have pushed me out of my comfort zone in a lot of ways that I am very grateful for. We often go to a bar in Shimo-Kitazawa called RPM that Risa frequents. They have live jams every week where any musician is welcome to play. Risa, being the amazing singer that she is, shows up and kills it every time we go. I am dedicated, but very much an amateur guitar hobbyist. I had never played in front of an audience outside of my immediate family and friends before this. But one night after a little bit of coaxing she got me to bring my guitar to the venue. After a little bit more badgering and coaxing, I even got up on stage and played a song. The whole experience was terrifying for me. I didn’t play particularly well. My legs were shaking so bad I could barely hold the neck. But doing it was great. I can say with total confidence that without her I would never have ever seriously thought about playing guitar live.

As I write this I’m realizing that there are hundreds of positive experiences that have defined my time in Japan. I’ve kept up regular contact with two separate groups of friends from Oberlin via weekly online Dungeons and Dragons games. I spent Golden Week at Mount Fuji with my host family from my first trip to Japan when I was a highschooler. Risa and I climbed the single most visited mountain in the world, Mt. Takao, and got a great view of Mt. Fuji from the top.The theme across all these experiences is that what you do with your time is important but who you do it with is what matters most. I’m going to take that lesson and carry with me into my last six months as a Shani Fellow and my life after as well.