Finding Home in India

By Reet Goraya ‘21, Keystone Foundation Fellow 2021-2023

As time winds down for my fellowship, I reflect on the various places I have been, and the home Kotagiri has become. As an Indian American, I have grown up wanting to explore different parts of India. The last time I had come to India before this fellowship was when I was 4 years old, so naturally I had a lot of plans saved up travelwise. What was most important to me though was to go to Punjab, and see the place where my parents had grown up.

I finally had the opportunity to go to my family’s home place and visit some of my family members still living there in November, with my co-fellows Isabel and Maddie. It was an incredibly special moment for me, and I will continue to hold that trip in my heart forever.

We visited Amritsar, which is especially spiritual for the Sikh community (my religious community) as it is where Harmandir Sahib, or the Golden Temple, is located. This temple is a holy site for Sikhs, and holds a lot of historical and religious significance. Before going, I called my mom to tell her about my trip, and she began to recollect all the times she has gone. She told me how every time she walked into the area where the Golden Temple is located, she would cry at the sight of the temple. The sounds of the prayers surrounding the town, leading to an almost silence from the many people gathered at the compound was breathtaking, and she said she only ever had that sort of feeling in Amritsar.

My aunt who was picking us up, Dolly Bhuaji, was gracious enough to let me, Isabel, and Maddie stay at her house in Taran Tarn, a city close to Amritsar. She decided it would be best for us to go straight to the temple after landing in the airport. We landed at 5 am, and immediately drove to Harmandir Sahib. As we neared the temple, I felt a sense of home in this place. It reminded me of growing up in the US, going to my own Gurudwara each Sunday with my parents, and being with my family learning more about our culture and traditions. As we walked towards Harmandir Sahib, hearing the prayers over loudspeakers around the city, I transported back to being 6 years old in my local Gurudwara, sitting with my mom hearing our community recite each prayer together. I felt at home within the first few moments of being in this space, and I had never felt that anywhere else. I teared up a bit at the site of the temple as the sun began to rise above; it really was unlike anything I had ever seen before.

To be in this space with my aunt and two co-fellows was beyond heartwarming. I felt immediately loved and cared for, and was so thankful that I could go to such a holy place with two of my friends who understood how significant this place was to me.

Punjab to me felt like home, much like Kotagiri is now. There is a sense of familiarity in Kotagiri- I know many of the people who live here, and have been thankful to have made lifelong friendships here. What I really have learned through the last nine months of living in India is how many places feel like home to me. Growing up outside Washington, DC has been incredibly special, and I am thankful to have spent so many years in one place, exploring and appreciating the area. I also view Oberlin as a home, as I created so many memories and bonds that I continue to cherish today. In India, both Punjab and Kotagiri have also become homes: one that reminds me of my family, and teaches me more about myself more than any other place I have ever lived, and the other where, like Oberlin, I have found my own unique identity.

My routine in Kotagiri is one that is different from everywhere else I’ve ever lived. I finally feel like an adult, learning how to navigate working while taking time to myself to wind down. I have learned how to start my mornings so that the rest of the day feels more relaxed, and then come home and do activities that help me feel ready to start it all again tomorrow. I have grown in ways mentally that I did not expect to, and have learned about what I need to feel safe and secure. I have grown in my communication skills, and understood how to better deal with tensions in work and in personal life in ways that I maybe couldn’t have elsewhere.

I cannot begin to think about leaving India, because I am so grateful for the connections I have made, and the people that I love. I am trying to take it day by day, and cherish every moment I have left with this magical place. I am already emotional about leaving this home I have created, but for now, I will continue spending as much time as I can making core memories with this community to share when I get back to the US. Thank you to the various places I have explored, and people I have met in the last nine months, I cannot wait for the next 4 months :)

From left to right: Maddie, Me, Theo, and Elin preparing for Pongal festivities

From left to right: Maddie, Isabel, Phoebe, and I eating ice cream on Christmas day! (all the current Shansi India Fellows :) )

From left to right: Isabel, Maddie, me, and Dolly Bhuaji on a scooter at an amusement park in Amritsar

From left to right: Vandana, Habeeba, me, and phoebe on our New Years trip to Varkala!

From left to right: Maddie, Harsha, and I at Amer Fort in Jaipur, Rajasthan

The walk to Harmandir Sahib, or the Golden Temple

Harmandir Sahib as the sun is rising

On the left are Harsha and Vandana, and on the right are Divya and me on a boat in Pillur for our staff meeting